Dependency on God is good

So with the house adventure, I'm realizing more and more my dependence on God - which is good! But I must confess my heart is not jumping for joy in realizing my dependence on God. At one point, I briefly wanted to give up and continue to live life as I have been, but there's no going back once you learn of the benefits of owning a home. I do still want to join the ranks of homeowners and can't wait for the day when it comes, but it's alot of work to get there!

Not that I'm doing this alone. God has been faithful to provide for some cheerleaders, advisors and individuals praying for me in this time. God is certainly providing the means for me to depend on Him! I don't deserve the kind of support I'm getting! But I must also confess, my lack of enthusiam of dependence on God is because my heart wants to be dependent on something else, more specifically someone else - my husband. I'm not married, but I want to be! And buying a home was one of those things I had envisioned doing when I got married. Not that that couldn't happen - getting married and buying a home. But that isn't happening right now.

As one of my most trusted advisors counseled me at the beginning of this, "buying a house and being married/single are two separate things. You will need to work hard to separate the two." I do remember his words, but I didn't take them as seriously as I do now. I do want to keep them separate because once again I'm setting up a selfish expectation of God in how my life should be. God knows my needs better than I do and he's so much better at keeping and sustaining my life than me. My life should be far worse than it is right now, but by God's mercy and grace, it's not.

So if you think of me, please pray that the verse below would help me to keep guard over my heart and my emotions and would help me to keep my focus on God during this season.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Toodles!