Boasting...

Carolyn McCulley over at SoloFemininity had another stellar post this week. Carolyn assists her single readers in preparing for the holidays (that would be me, front and center) and those inevitable conversations like this one...

Married Woman: "So you never got married, did you?"
Single Woman: "Uh, no, I didn't." And you never learned how to be tactful, did you??
Married Woman: "Wow...well, whatever happened to that guy you were dating for a long time? You all broke up, right? Didn't he go on to marry someone else?"
Single Woman: [Stunned silence.] "That's right, he did."
Married Woman: "Well, did you ever want to get married?"
Single Woman: About as passionately as I want you to go away now. "Yes, of course."'
Married Woman: "Well, that's. . . too bad."

Carolyn writes,

"As the holidays approach, it's time to prepare our hearts for many similar year-end conversations. I've been thinking about this conversation a lot lately, and about why it's so hard to have it. And I think it comes down to this: We can't boast. We can't boast in a ring. Or boast in a faithful husband. Or--for most of us--boast in our offspring. Others may have "braggin' rights," but we have to endure awkward, too-personal questions."

A couple of things stick out to me after reading this.

One - This is so true! My pride wants to boast! Primarily so that others will accept me and think highly of me. But as God is teaching me, we're all the same.

As Carolyn writes about a sermon given by CJ Mahaney at Covenant Life church last weekend,

"We all compare ourselves to each other and measure ourselves by each other. But that's pride at work. Whatever we've received is all of grace. That perspective is what C.J. taught us so well on Sunday. His two sermon points were that grace produces humility and grace prepares us for suffering. As I've said before, prolonged, unwanted singleness is a form of suffering. But here's the good news: The sanctifying grace that is at work in our singleness prepares us for this suffering and it produces the humility not to react in pride (self-pity, defensiveness, sarcastic responses) to unthinking conversations like the one above."

Two - I love how Carolyn gets to our hearts instead of the hearts of those asking those awkward questions. As someone gave me wise counsel when preparing for these types of questions, I need to be thinking about what my heart is doing, not the other person's. I also need to remember to have charitable judgments toward them and think that their questions, no matter how they come out, are really an evidence of their care for me. Maybe they are asking me if I'm single so that they can introduce me to a single guy at one of their holiday parties? (hint, hint!)

So go ahead, read Carolyn's post, listen to CJ's message and prepare your hearts for the holidays!

Toodles!

Forward Friday

Well, hopefully, this is a sign of getting back to normal with these posts....

Today's forward comes from the blog of Tim Challies. In today's post, he discusses about how books can influence our lives. I encourage you to read it. It blessed me and exhorted me in an area of temptation for me to read books more than reading the Bible. I love to read! Why does it seem easier to read and understand something someone else has written regarding the Bible or Christian topic and not go to the fountain of joy, truth and life in the Word of God?!? Please don't take this as a statement of frustration but one of humble cry to the Lord for help in this area of temptation and weakness.

Toodles!

Forward Friday

Today's Forward Friday is from today's Revive Our Hearts program. You can read a transcript of it here. It is pretty lengthy, but well worth the read. I was able to read it over lunch today.

Today, Nancy Leigh DeMoss tackles servanthood. I love how she began today's broadcast.

It’s a lot easier to be a servant at 9:00 in the morning than it is to be a servant at 4:00 in the afternoon. After spending all day with active toddlers or a parent who’s in the hospital or a pile of paperwork, acting out of a servant’s heart can get old.

I can relate to that comment in some way. I think that when I get home from work after 5, that's it, I'm done, kick my shoes off and the night is mine to enjoy with doing whatever. But that is selfishness and pride. I remember commenting one time to my caregroup about how I get through the day and I remember saying openly, "Knowing 5 pm is coming soon." And we all had a good laugh because many of the ladies are wives and mothers who don't have a clock out time. They are wonderful examples to me of servanthood that Nancy discusses in her broadcast.

Part of Nancy's broadcast included characteristics of a servant (doulos) of Jesus Christ. I want to highlight the first one because it was such a good reminder to me. I also think this is the most important characteristic of a servant because it describes where servanthood must come from. Nancy states,

One of the first marks I see in the Scripture is that when you are a doulos of someone, you are the servant, the bondservant of the Lord. It speaks of a relationship of dependence on your master. You are dependant on your master to meet your needs. You are dependant on your master to provide for you.

I love that passage in Psalm 123:2 where it says, “Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, and as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God.” A servant looks to the hand of her mistress or her master to provide for her, to meet her needs, to give her her food, to give her the supplies she needs to do her job. The Scripture says we look to the Lord to meet our needs.

I was grateful for this reminder, because at times it can feel like I am giving, giving and giving and I start to worry how God will provide time, energy, finances, a car that works, etc., to serve in the areas I believe he's called me to serve in as well as do the things I need to do, like laundry, cook and clean, etc. I'm not super-woman, nor should I strive to be. God is not looking for a super-woman to serve him, but a woman who is humble to look to Him and trust Him to meet all her needs.

In closing, I want to share a story from last week that highlights a special servant who is a dear friend of mine. Last week, I was entering into a busy week at work as well as recovering from a very busy weekend that was very full. I was also coming down with a cold so I was good about getting extra rest and not pushing myself. I remember thinking a couple of times during that week about getting my house clean. I remember thinking and talking with God about having a clean house and thinking it was my pride. Since I was not feeling well, I wasn't going to push myself to clean my house if it was going to make me more sick doing it. I resolved not to clean my house and to trust in God with the situation. Well, my good friend Danielle called that week and as we were talking she asked if she could help with anything and she specifically asked about cleaning my house. I was immediately humbled by the kindess of God to pour out his grace on such a small thing and graciously accepted her offer. When she came to clean my house, she was humble in asking how I wanted things cleaned and she even cleaned my toilets! It was such a blessing! Thank you Danielle for serving me and being a vessel of God's grace to me and others!

Toodles!

Forward Friday

Today's forward is about the Sovereign Grace Worship God conference, happening this week. There are over 1,000 people registered! How exciting is that! Tim Challies over at Challies.com is liveblogging the conference. Below are the links to his posts...

WorshipGod'06
A Prayer for A Conference
WorshipGod'06 - Introduction
WorshipGod'06 - 1st session
WorshipGod'06 - 2nd session
WorshipGod'06 - Prayer room
WorshipGod'06 - 3rd session
WorshipGod'06 - Meet the Prez
WorshipGod'06 - 4th session

Forward Friday

Ok, I know I said earlier about not posting, but I came across a document I think my friend Vicki Reimert was looking for. (Hope this is what you were looking for!)

Today's forward is a document titled "Fifty Fruits of Pride"

I don't know who the author of the document is, but I know it's been used in prior messages or teachings I've received at church or through care group. I have a hard copy in my files of it, but I was able to find it online from the Providence Church of Pittsburgh website. I was checking out the website in anticipation for my trip this weekend.

Toodles,

Forward Friday

This week's forward comes from Carolyn McCulley's article for Crosswalk.com. A mother of a young adult daughter asks Carolyn's advice for her daughter who desires marriage and what she should in the meantime.


I recommend reading the article. It doesn't give concrete answers, but it does give advice about things to consider and pursue about using the gifts of time and flexibility singleness offers.

For those of you out there like me in an season of extended singleness, reading this article can elicit disheartedness. Reading her article will not hold the answer for how to be free from singleness, but she does provide encouragement from a perspective of understanding and experiencing extended singleness.

If you read her suggestions of what to do in the meantime and you find yourself saying "okay, I do that...I'm pursuing that...then what?" take heart that these things do not guarantee marriage here on earth, but it is a guarantee of being part of the marriage of Christ and his bride, the Church, in heaven. "Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come" 2 Corinthians 2:22-23. As the Holy Spirit works in my life and sanctifies me, it is another evidence that I was not made for this world and I am being preparing for heaven. Don't get me wrong! I want to get married! But I know that if and when God blesses me with marriage, He will still be preparing me for heaven.

Also, we, who are experiencing extended singleness, are providing an example to the younger singles who may be stepping onto the road of singleness and unsure if this will be a short road or a long one. In our example, they will see the faithfulness and trustworthiness of God to meet all of our needs and it will give them hope that God will do the same for them.

One another thing I took away from Carolyn's perspective on a woman who's experiencing extended singleness is her humility in assessing reasons for singleness. She writes,

As an older never-married woman, I’m certainly glad I pursued an education as well as professional and personal interests. Though God has not (yet) answered my prayers for marriage and children, I have led an interesting, varied and full life serving others in the church and on the job. There are some who might say that these pursuits are the very reason for my current singleness, but this would be a hasty judgment – for these are the barest of details and certainly summarized without a knowledge of God’s completed plan for my life.

I think she is humble in assessing that she doesn't know God's complete plan for her life and that it would be hasty to judge reasons for singleness based on a limited view. I am very grateful for this response because her response stands out to me amidst the sea of those out there who have written articles and books about the reasons for the current American culture of extended singleness. I would agree with her that there are some out there that would hastily look at a single's life and quickly diagnose the reasons for singleness and prescribe marriage. While I would agree with the prescription, I know that all diagnoses of singleness are not the same. And while it is good to get at the root of the culture of extended singleness, all this attention on the reasons of extended singleness can leave many singles feeling hopeless that they don't deserve marriage or that marriage is out of their reach because of the "reasons for singleness" in their life.

I am grateful for those out who desire American culture to align with the word of God and who want the best in desiring marriage for me and others like me experiencing extended singleness. But I can't change my past or where God has placed me currently. My job and the ways I serve the church are a blessing to me in many ways and to others and who knows, God may use what I learn and experience in those contexts to bring blessing to my future husband and our marriage. I know that God works all things together for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose. And I have to believe that includes singleness and the "reasons" for it.

Toodles,

Forward Friday #2

Check out the 2 free downloads from Crossway Church of Lancaster. Last Sunday, there were 2 debuts.

The first being of Cliff Lewis' song "Restless Souls." Cliff wrote a beautiful song and did well in singing it in front of CCL last weekend.

The second debut was a video about Sr. Pastor Pete Privitera's lawn. If you have been following the current message series we are in on the book of Ecclesiastes, Pete has mentioned a few times about the condition and state of his lawn and his efforts to grow grass. Spoiler warning: It's funny! That's all I'm going to say.

So click over to the CCL website to get the goods!

Toodles,

Forward Friday #1

This week's Forward Friday is sweet. This coming weekend, a year ago, Crowway Church of Lancaster, PA held its' first 1 Single Day event. It was a day of memories as over 150+ singles gathered to worship God in song, listen to the preaching of His word and fellowship with one another. I also met some new friends of mine from the Pittsburgh church, including some cool girls who stayed at my apartment.

So today's forward is 1 Single Day! If you are single and over 20, sign up to attend! If you are single and under 20, sign up to volunteer! If you're 20, well I'm not sure....I may have to get back to you on that one...

If you need a refesher on the top reasons to attend, I will link you back to a previous post I made about 1 Single Day.

Toodles!

Forward Friday

This week's Forward Friday comes from New Attitude. I would encourage everyone who went to NA 06 to visit the blog regularly. It is a great way to remember what we heard and experienced there.

I had to laugh when I saw this entry at the NA blog. The NA bloggers collected some of Josh and Eric's classic moments. Below is not the best of the bunch, so go check out the others by clicking on the picture.

This is another example of how Josh and Eric invite and embrace humility in their leadership of NA. And somehow laughing is the appropriate response and encouragement to humility...so go ahead and have a chuckle!

Toodles!

Forward Friday

I've had this blog entry in mind for a few weeks and I have a few minutes to jot it down here.

Today's Forward Friday is one of my favorite links, BibleGateway. BibleGateway is a website version of the Bible. It has numerous translations of the Bible and comes in different languages. I came across this link in college and it has been a timely resource for when I'm on the computer and I need to look for a verse to encourage me or someone I'm emailing.

So why a forward about the Bible? Well, as much as it's fun, interesting and easier to read other godly blogs/webpages, our main diet should be the Bible and we can cultivate that appetite by continually being in the Word. As I've said before when describing my devotional appetite, the Bible is my main meal. I may have an appetizer by reading Morning and Evening by CH Spurgeon, and dessert afterwards by reading John Piper or CJ Mahaney, but my main and largest course of my devotional reading should be the Bible.

I have to confess sometimes I like to just eat just appetizers or dessert for real food and spiritual food. I'm currently in this pattern! But only by God's kindness, He lets me hunger for real spiritual food, and I'm drawn back to His word. And when I read His word, I am truly satisfied. How kind and good of God to want me to be satisfied and full and drawing me to His word where all my needs are met.

Toodles,

Forward Friday

Today's forward is really a bunch of small forwards rolled into one. It is from this week's Revive Our Hearts radio series titled "Becoming a Woman of Virtue" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. They are short, so please take time to look through them. I've placed the links for each program below.

Building? or Tearing Down?
Seeing the Temperatures
Purity
Boundaries
Maintaining Hedges

Toodles!

Forward Friday #2

So after posting for Forward Friday today, I realized that unless you have all the time in the world, sifting through Wayne Grudem's stuff could immediately turn you away. I apologize to those out there that felt overburdened by it. The student/investigator in me kicks into high gear some times and doesn't realize that life is happening and maybe there is little to no time for extended times of study. I myself don't plan on buying the book, but the smaller condensed version is good enough for me.

To make it up to you, I am pulling from my archives a piece from John Piper titled, "A Challenge to Women."

This piece may be more palatable in how we as women should view God, ourselves and the world around us.

Toodles,

Forward Friday

In the past week, the blogosphere and some of my conversations with others this week was peppered with the news of the the ECUSA's decision to elect a female bishop. The consequences of this decision are already being seen with news that at the ECUSA national convention, she referred to Jesus Christ, the Son of God as "mother Jesus."

Hearing this news, I was saddened by this as evidence of a growing shift towards egalitarianism in the American churches. I know for myself, and agree with many out there, that the topics of biblical masculinity and femininity and complementarian vs. egalitarian may come to define the church today.

Thankfully, there are churches who hold to and practice biblical masculinity and femininity out there as well as gifted and wise teachers who help to wade through all the dialogue.

One of these gifted teachers is Wayne Grudem. He spoke at Na 2004 about biblical masculinity and femininity and his message was by far a crowd favorite. At the end of the message, Josh let us know that a book with many of things he spoke about was going to be published that same year.

Well, today's forward is that book, Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth: An Analysis of Over One Hundred Disputed Questions. I will warn you, it's 856 pages long. But, the good folks at the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood have helped to condense the 100 questions in a much smaller and easier to digest format here.

Toodles,

Forward Friday #2

Like I said before, it's been a good week for finding good resources on the web.

The second forward is a little booklet with a powerful punch by Nancy Leigh DeMoss entitled "Personal Hedges: Practical cautions for Christian women to help safeguard our hearts and the marriages of the men around us" and I think it is a must read for every woman out there in any situations from mom, teenage girl, college gal, working gal, etc. You will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open the booklet and you can download it for free here.

Toodles,

Forward Friday #1

This week, there's been alot of good stuff I've come across this week and I hope to share it with you here.

The first forward is from the Together for the Gospel blog. Recently, the men, (CJ Mahaney, Al Mohler, Ligon Duncan and Mark Dever) had a conversation about biblical complementarism or gender roles as defined by God's Word. Below, I've brought up the links for each one's contribution.

Mark Dever entry - Undermining Tolerance of Egalitarianism
Ligon Duncan entry - Thanks Mark (more on T4G and Complementarianism)
Al Molher entry - The Glory of God and the Question of Gender
CJ Mahaney entry - Deliberate Complementarian Pastors

I encourage everyone to read their entries. I know it has sparked much talk out there in the blogosphere. You may or may not agree with the authors, but the common theme I found is that biblical masculinity and biblical femininity glorify God and are a witness to the gospel.

Additionally, I would add a couple of things to the ladies out there from a ex-pro-feminist.

• Please read these entries with you in mind and not about your situation in life where the man or men seem lacking in biblical masculinity. Biblical masculinity is not a requirement for desiring and practicing biblical femininity or vice versa. That may sound like the cry for each gender to say they don't need each other, however, when you study biblical masculinity and femininity you'll see that it is about glorifying God with how he made each gender and the good plans he has for both genders.
• Ladies, whether you are single or married, we need to be pursuing what biblical femininity looks like and practicing it well. Why? Not for the sake of getting a husband or making a husband happy, but for the sake of the gospel (Titus 2:5)
• Biblical femininity may look different on the outside for many different people, but it's what's on the inside that counts. (This could be a subject in and of itself, but what I mean here is that I think there is no one way a biblically feminine women should dress or cook or the type of home she lives in. Granted this is not a free license to dress, cook or do whatever we feel like. I think, and I know from experience, that we women can see another woman that we admire and judge ourselves based off of that woman and we may find ourselves resenting God for the way he made us and/or the place he has us in. This is not pleasing to God and can create jealousy and contempt among sisters in Christ.)
• Lastly, there's God's grace and it is all of God's grace that makes us into biblically feminine women. Take it from an ex-pro-feminist, God can redeem women who have been seduced and are being seduced by the lies of this world and bring them into the freedom of living in God's perfect and good design for us as women.

Toodles,

Forward Friday

Another cheesy title I know, but having these categories help me make sense of things! Forward Friday is where I will hopefully point you to some other great resources out there in the blogosphere.

Today's forward is "Seeing the Gospel in all things" from the Gospel Driven Life blog by Mark Lauterbach, a pastor with Sovereign Grace Ministries in San Diego and fellow Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Pre-season is only 3 months away! Woohoo!

The last half of the post caught my attention and encouraged me in my struggle with sin and growing a heart towards those who need the gospel:

"when God speaks of the places where he was faithful, he develops the details. When God writes about the places of failure, he speaks of his care and not their sin. He made this point -- God is forgetful of our sins. He does not summarize our lives as those moments of great transgression on our part. In our self-righteousness we make a monument to our sins and live in endless regret of them. In our pride, we make monuments to others sins and remind them of them. But God records his gracious care of us in our sin so that we see his mercy and not our evil.

There were other points as well -- but this one spoke so deeply to me. With the march of years and the experience of such profound sadness at times -- or profound awareness of my own sin -- I am apt to remind myself often of my transgressions and heartaches and let those low-water marks define my view of the past. I am called to make a list of the places of God's care and to look on those dark moments as reminders of the forgetfulness of God.

It occurs to me that there is not a more helpful word for us and for the society in which we live. What greater manifestation of grace could there be than to offer to people -- damaged by sin, hurt deeply by others -- the Gospel perspective that in Christ God sees things differently. They are not a "divorced person" -- they are not a "former homosexual" -- they are a redeemed and forgiven sinner and they can glory in their Savior. The Gospel is amazingly good news."

I've been reading the post this week and letting it encourage my soul. I hope it does the same for you as well.

Toodles,