Brief break #2

Amidst all the busyness of planning for 1 single day, I wanted to slow down and mark a recent experience of God's grace to me.

Over the past couple of Sundays, I have had opportunity to serve in children's ministry. Now some of you may be shocked at this seeing as I go to Crossway Church of Lancaster where we love kids! It's not that I hate kids, but to give a little background...I have a physical disability, a very visible disability. My arms are shorter and my hands turn 90 degrees at the wrist rather than stay straight. For those of you who would like the medical technical term, here it is: thrombocytopenia absent radius (TAR syndrome). So growing up, as you can imagine, I was consistently taunted and teased for my disability by children of all ages.

It's taken me awhile to get use to children, thanks to being a member of CCL, but little children have always been a struggle to me. How do you handle the constant staring? Are they scared by my hands? Are they interested? How do you explain or even say thromobocytopenia absent radius to a 3 year old? Thankfully, I don't have to explain or say thrombocytopenia absent radius, I can just share about how God made me this way in my mommy's tummy and as it says in his word in Psalm 139, we are perfectly and wonderfully made by God.

I have had some interesting reactions from the few children when I've shared why my hands are like this from a simple "okay" to asking again "why are your hands like that?"

So anyway, back to serving in children's ministry the past couple of Sundays. I can honestly say I felt God's peace about the whole thing. I think it helped being busy with 1 single day amidst normal life so that I wouldn't have time to think or dwell on what the kids would say or do. I had a wonderful teacher and helper (thanks Dawn and Alicia! You don't know how much you being there helped me!) who I had shared my concerns before just so that they would know and that they would be able to help and observe how I interacted with the kids and give feedback about how I responded to the kids.

In closing, I really felt God was giving me faith for growing in being with smaller children, which is HUGE for me. Most people would say they have fear of man, well, I would have to add fear of children. The past two Sundays I didn't feel any fear before, during or after children's ministry which again is HUGE for me. (I hope you're getting the sense of the HUGENESS of this... :-) )

God is so kind and compassionate towards me in this area. I know there is more stuff to go through in this area but he knows my weaknesses better than I do and he is more than able to address those weaknesses.

Thank you God for answering my prayers in battling against fear of children. Thank you for softening my heart to trust you and look to you in how to interact with children. Thank you for your word and I pray that in how I use your word to answer about my hands, that the children would see you and not me. Thank you God for the way you made me. You have perfectly and wonderfully made me this way. Amen.

Toodles!