As a good friend kindly pointed out to me, "umm..where are you? it's not normal that you haven't posted in awhile?" Well, here's some of the why.
Last week was not a good week. At work, the heat in my office for 2 days was in the low 50's. And when I brought a space heater in on the second day and combined with my boss' space heater, we both tripped the fuse. Which somehow got those in charge on their toes to fix the heat and the fuses. But we were still not allowed to use our space heaters. So for most of the week I sat cold in my office trying to do work. And the building I am in has been undergoing serious renovations and so coupled with the loud noises and repugnant smells and the lack of heat...well it just wasn't a good week.
And lately I've been discouraged that I spend more time at work than at home and when I am at home, most of my time is spent sleeping! I am grateful that I have a place to sleep. I guess I just wish I could give more of my time, energy and thought to my home rather than work. But if I don't go to work, then I can't keep my house and there you have a catch 22. But it's not a catch 22 in God's eyes and nor did he place me in these situations and give me these desires to confuse me or place me in a conflict. God gives peace and understanding and I need some of both right now.
And then there are the holidays and so many feelings surface at this time. I'm single again this year and I am blessed with both my family coming and my church family here in Lancaster this year. And then there's the family coming. I see them only once a year and even then it's only for a few days so it seems to come and go very quickly along with feelings of happiness when they are here and sadness when they leave.
So there I am...this week time with God was mostly spent in tears crying out to Him for mercy and feeling my cries for mercy were louder than His replies. But these thoughts and verses did come to me this week:
We cannot answer every why question. But there is always this answer: My faith is being tested. And our Lord never wastes his tests. Whether we believe this truth is, in fact, part of the test. [reference]
Jesus really understands what stormy darkness is like. His storms, from Gethsemane to Golgotha, were far worse than anything we will ever know. And he entered them willingly for us, so that we would be rescued from all of our storms, particularly the ultimate storm of God's wrath against our sin. That's why he came. His storm crushed him so that our storms would become redemptive for us. [reference]
Would you not love to hear the angel Gabriel say to you, “You are greatly loved”? Three times this happened to Daniel.
“At the beginning of your pleas for mercy a word went out, and I have come to tell it to you, for you are greatly loved” (Dan. 9:23)
“O Daniel, man greatly loved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for now I have been sent to you” (Dan. 10:11)
“And he said, ‘O man greatly loved, fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage” (Dan. 10:19).
Take heart. If you have faith in Jesus, God himself says to you, “You are greatly loved.”
We were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ . . . For by grace you have been saved through faith. (Ephesians 2:3-5, 8).
This is better than an angel's voice. If you are “alive” you are greatly loved. [reference]
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
So if you've read this, thank you for reading. And please pray. Pray for God to bolster my faith and for my heart to trust in Him and to have hope in Him that he will complete his good work he started and his very great and precious promises to me.