The church, in my opinion, does not do singleness very well. At every turn, we hold up marriage as normative, and actually I think, as superior to singleness. And we convey in subtle and not so subtle ways that you’re not really a part of this community or an adult if you’re not married.
What I want to suggest is that it’s a problem not only because it makes single people feel lousy, although that’s part of what it does, but finally it’s not a therapeutic problem but a theological problem. The problem is this: marriage and singleness were not given to individual people. They were given to the church. And both witness to the church different theological truths, different pieces of God’s economy, and we miss the point of marriage and singleness when we fail to realize that.
Thanks to my dear friend, Sarah for posting this transcript of a message at a CCEF conference a few years ago. You can read her entire post here.